One day at a time, moment by moment... That's how I do it & I've found it works the best "for us".
I know I haven't blogged much this past year & most everything is related to my hubby's stroke, but that is our life right now. Thanks for following along & putting up with us!
People interest me & I talk to quite a few people, in person & online. What I find most interesting is opinions. Everyone has one... But why do people always try to tell other people what to do? I mean, seriously!
I know people mean well, but sometimes people should just try to zip their lip...
(Dude needs a shave)
When people are going through what we've recently been going through since my hubby's strokes, the very last thing we need is to be given unwanted advice. If you've lived through a stroke or taken care of a stroke survivor & have some really cool tips on what worked for you, great! BUT if you just have an opinion & you've never "been there", just keep it to yourself, trust me. For nearly sixteen months now, our plates have been pretty full... & We're not even hungry most of the time. We have a LOT of things to do to function on a normal basis, with very little pay to live on. Practically none, in fact, BUT God sends His angels regularly, who have taken us under their wings & helped us along the way. It's miraculous, really! I am continuously in awe of His goodness... We are doing our best to be somewhat normal "for our situation".
I am seriously fine... We have settled into a very nice routine & it's working for us.
My Sweet Mr has taken an interest in back yard bird watching since his strokes. He isn't able to do a lot of things, but watching birds from in the house or while out on our back deck brings him a lot of joy.
Scroll over these pictures for explanations.
Here's how we make it work, daily...
One day at a time. Truly... If we wake up breathing, it's a good day... If the sun is out, I will spend "a bit" of time doing what I need to outside, IF I feel up to it & hubby doesn't need me. IF "he wants to", I will help him get outside, either sitting on the back deck to keep me company, OR out in the yard, "IF he wants to" try & do a task.
He can sit in his power wheelchair OR get on the ground, depending on how he is feeling that day. He has a cushion he sits on on the ground, BUT I have to help him each time he wants to move over a few inches. Plus, he was gifted an awesome set of knee pads recently, so he can crawl around more comfortably when he wants to weed or hand edge the grass (Which he "wants to" do). When he works a bit (not long) & feels too tired, he will lie down on the ground (it's his "choice") to rest until he feels up to doing a bit more...
If it's raining (like today), we stay in & "IF I feel like it" I may do a couple of chores "as needed" OR just come into my art studio room & do some painting (like today).
ONE day at a time, moment by moment. NO expectations, NO stress. Rest when, or as often as needed, for BOTH of us. His health & daily needs come first since he isn't capable of doing everything without help, BUT my health & needs are also very important, because there is nobody else to care for him...
When the weather is dry, I always try to take my guy for a trek around the neighborhoods by us. He is in his power wheelchair & I walk. The fresh air is good for both of us & I get some walking in, so we both benefit from heading on down the road. I may not always feel like going, but I know it's VERY beneficial for him to get out & about. Whenever he asks if I feel up to a walk, I ALWAYS say yes, even if I don't feel like it. I will do it for him. He doesn't have a lot of things he is capable of doing & after a long trek around here, he is always in better spirits. Bonus points if he gets to talk to someone besides me along the way...
Sometimes he has to take a nap. Sometimes we both need a nap & that's OK.
Nothing we have to do around the house is as important as either of us. Thankfully, there is a LOAD of love in our household & we trust each other, which does help a LOT...
We have come a LONG way in the past year!
I may not be able to leave him for long periods of time, but he is good doing some things without me right next to him (But I am never too far away, if he needs me). Yes, when he gets tired, he has a lot more issues, but we have worked well at making everything work as best we can. There are times when he is very childlike & seems so vulnerable, which makes me go into protective mode. Other times, he's super great... & He does struggle with his cognitive abilities some & his short term memory fails him often. Even he is surprised when he just now said something & immediately forgot what it was. Sometimes we just have to laugh about it & move on to the next subject. It's all you can do. No sense stressing over it...
Sometimes, when things get broken, we can fix them. Sometimes, like when your brain is broken,
it's not as easy to fix AND you can't always tell it's broken, when the outside looks amazing...
My hubby is still my hubby...
& As the years have gone by, our life together has evolved. Ever-changing with that time in our lives.
We've been through a LOT together in the past...
But, for now... Right now...
We choose to live for "this" moment.
Not worrying about tomorrow...
Just today. This second... These next few minutes.
Those are the times to focus on.
Since his strokes, we've been living on faith.
My Sweet Mr's disability pay covers half of our rent,
but God miraculously provides
for the rest of our rent & household bills.
Every now & then we still get donations on our
GoFundMe, which help a lot.
If you feel led to help,
just copy & paste this link into your browser to donate.
I made these ads through Amazon,
in order to advertise here on my blog,
in an effort to help support my sweet hubby,
in the manner to which he has become accustomed.
I may or may not receive a tiny percentage from some sales.
Please click here
& make your purchases at Amazon.