Here's an alphabetical window into our world,
which I wrote 6 years ago...
Much of this is still the same,
aside from having moved a couple of times
& my guy being more disabled due to
the three strokes he suffered last year...
~ A is for... Always happy... I "choose" happiness & I try my best to keep on smiling on good days & bad days. Some days it's harder than others, but smiling really does help make things better.
~ B is for... Baking... Yes, I do bake a lot, but most of it is not for us. I get asked to bake things on a regular basis & I'm thankful that my friends trust me enough to ask me to do it... & Nobody has died.
~ C is for... Caretaker... I care for others, before myself... If you've been here, I'm sure you've witnessed this about me... It is my goal in life to make people as comfortable as possible & I try my best to give them what they need, if I can... I really want to make people happy & it brings me joy to make people feel better. I am SO glad that I can be here, to take care of my Sweet Mr every single day.
~ D is for... Disabled... Yes, my Sweet Mr is considered permanently disabled now... We even have a mini wheelchair emblem on our license plate.... This does not mean he is dead. He still has a brain & feelings... Being disabled is no reason to dump someone in the street. I have come across several mixed opinions on the subject & I am here to tell you, it is as hard on the disabled person as it is the people who live with them. I do my very best to care for him in the most loving way possible even on the darkest of days (of which there have been many this past year)... Disability can also cause depression, which can sometimes be very tough to watch. Heartbreaking, to say the least. It's been described to me as, "A feeling of total blackness" "Like the walls are closing in on me" "I wish I could control these feelings, but I just don't know how" "I don't want my feet anymore" "I couldn't do this without you" "Some days I just wish I would die" "You deserve so much better than me"... I have heard all of these things said, some much more than once & I know without a doubt, if the tables were turned & it were me who was now disabled, he would be just as devoted to me, as I am to him. True love loves in spite of any disabilities.
~ E is for... Everyone... All of the people who have surrounded us with their love, comfort & support this past year. The outpouring from everyone has been amazing & I am in awe at how many wonderful friends we have around us, both near and far! Thank-you!!
~ F is for... Fantastic... Like this day, where right now, I am snuggling on the couch, with our sweet puppy wrapped around my neck with her head hanging down over my shoulder, giving me the occasional nuzzle... & My Sweet Mr in his comfy chair next to us... Spending the day at home, together, with no plan of what's coming up next, just doing what we feel like, at home today... & I'm able to have laundry going & maybe bake that cookie dough I have in the fridge (IF I feel like it) & mow the lawn this evening, & I can put horse liniment on my Sweet Mr's feet, so he can have about fifteen minutes of relief from the constant state of "pins & needles" & "walking on glass" feelings he has nearly all day, every single day... It's just fabulous to be together!
~ G is for... God... He is all around me, constantly. He provides for my every need... & He has done SO MUCH for me in my lifetime... He has brought me into the path of so many wonderful & amazing people, who have been such great friends to us & helped us out in so many ways. There isn't a day that goes by, where I am not in awe at His amazing presence in my life & how He cares so much for us, that He sends His best angels, just when we need them.
~ H is for... Home... I am so thankful for this home we live in right now. It is perfect for us & it's an absolute miracle how we found this place & that we got accepted to live here. This place has everything we need, from the fully fenced in, private yard, for our dog, to the large open rooms, to the airtight wood-stove we use for heat. It is quiet here (especially since Stomping Woman moved away last year) & this is a nice neighborhood & we love our new upstairs neighbor... & As much as I am a country girl at heart & this is the first time I have ever lived "in town", it doesn't feel like we live in town... It is nice though, to be close to whatever we need... & Had we not moved here, we would not have gotten the proper care for my Sweet Mr, at the proper hospital, where we were "meant to be" & only minutes from home... & I absolutely LOVE having my art studio in our spare room, with two folding tables (provided to me by a dear, sweet & VERY generous friend), where I can work, in peace, at my own pace. It's awesome!!
~ I is for... Interesting... Our life stays interesting, that is for certain... So many things go on, it boggles my mind some days... I seem to keep SO busy, with baking, painting, friends, chores, playing with Gypsy & caring for my hubby, that I don't seem to have a spare moment... It may not be as interesting for my Sweet Mr, as he sometimes gets bored, because he can't just get up & do what he wants anymore, like he used to.
~ J is for... Jobs... Of which I have many... It takes a lot of jobs on my part, to keep us afloat... & I am ever so grateful to the many friends who have asked me to work for them or to bake or paint or watch their elderly mom, or their dog, so that I could earn money to help pay our way in life. I appreciate you all! Thank-you!
~ K is for... Kisses & Kindness... Kisses... Of which I receive many, on a daily basis & I love them all! & Kindness... Is such a great thing. I strive to be kind to others, on a daily basis.
~ L is for... Love... I'm super glad that I found my true love all those years ago & that he is still by my side, today & all of the days ahead. He has been THE BEST partner I could have ever asked for. He has held my hand throughout the years, through thick & through thin... We never tire of our time together & we have trudged on through some extremely rough times in our life. Through losing loved ones, & losing our home, which we built the way we wanted it, starting from the ground up, with raw land & clearing it, with a weed-eater, chainsaw & loppers & bringing in a new house, with toilets that had never been peed in before & creating our own space, which we adored. It was so peaceful, like a park & we loved our time that we had there, together... & When we were two days from homeless, I realized it was only our love for each other that mattered, so I came home & said, "It doesn't matter where we lay our heads at night, as long as we're together & if we have to make up a bed, in the back of our truck & sleep in a parking lot at night, then that's what we'll do" (We found a place the very next day). Love... It really is about all you need.
~ M is for... Money... We never have much money, but we manage... Somehow, we end up with "just" enough to squeak by on... & I believe, someday, we will have enough to be self sufficient & comfortable... For now, we just keep plugging away, grateful for kind & generous friends.
~ N is for... Needs... I'm super thankful that our needs are met. Continuously.
~ O is for... Old... When I was a little girl, I thought people our age were old... Age is only a number, really... & I do admit, some days I feel old (just really tired!), but most times, I actually feel pretty good for an old gal like me.
~ P is for... Photographer... I'm a wannabe Photographer... I'll take a picture of anything... My old camera has been one of the best things we ever bought. It's getting pretty old & the zoom sticks now, but I still use it every single chance I get... & Although my hubby sometimes asks, "How many pictures of the sunset do you really need?" the answer is, "You can never really have too many"... I doubt that I'll ever tire of taking pics & if I could make a living at it, I would.
~ Q is for... Quiet... Our house is so quiet. I absolutely love the peacefulness we have here together. We don't have TV (only DVD's which my guy watches in the evenings, in our room), so there is no unnecessary noise & with the candles lit & the quietness all around us, we have a very relaxing life.
~ R is for... Respect... I think respect is such an important thing. My hubby & I respect each other. We don't call each other names like, "Old Man" or "Old Lady", because we have respect for one another. We care for each other & respect each others wishes. We discuss things out of respect for each other. We respect that we are each different & have different opinions from time to time... This world could use a bit more respect these days... People should respect others more & parents should be teaching their kids respect... Some do, but many don't & it's hard to see... Don't hang around people who don't respect you. Being respected, is a great feeling!
~ S is for... Simple... I am just a simple girl... I don't live fancy. I only take a few minutes to get ready to go somewhere & I don't need a lot of fanciness. I love the simple things in life.
~ T is for... Time... It goes by so quickly... There never seems to be enough time for all of the things I want to do each day... Time flies by faster & faster, the older I get... There seem to be less hours in a day, less days in a week & less weeks in the year... How much time can I take to do what I need to get done?... Christmas is less than 90 days away already!
~ U is for... Up... I am doing the very best I can, on a daily basis, to keep those around me up... God holds me up daily & He keeps me so high that I feel the need to raise up those around me, as often as possible.
~ V is for... Vintage... I love old things... Even if they aren't old, but they look old, I love them... I should be an antique dealer, I love them so much!
~ W is for... Work... I take pride in my work, no matter what I'm working at... I will always try to work my hardest & to do my best.
~ X is for... Example (see how I did that there)... I try hard to set a good example wherever I go, with whatever I'm doing.
~ Y is for... Young... My Sweet Mr still thinks of me as a young girl. We met & got married when I was only 17 & he remembers me the way I was when we met... It's quite sweet, actually. I will never forget how we met & how it seemed like such a fairytale.
~ Z is for... Zoetta... & Yes, that is my middle name. I have always been proud of the uniqueness of it... My mom must've known I would be different... & I thank God every single day, for making me who I am.
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in the manner to which he has become accustomed.
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